The Process of Healing

Several years ago I had an accident.  A glass door shattered over me.  It was the result of kids playing, a door with too many layers of paint, and a really hot day.  Luckily I wasn't covered in cuts, but two large shards of glass got me pretty good.  They both went about 2 inches into my leg.  I'm not a big girl, so 2 inches is significant.  Had it been a movie I'm sure the scene would have been pretty cool.  Both cuts had blood literally shooting out of them.  I quickly covered the holes in my leg in attempt to stop the blood flow and called for help.  Help came and 911 was called.  When the ambulance arrived the paramedics asked me to uncover the holes.  Honestly, this is the first time fear set in.  I knew what happened when the holes were uncovered.  Uncovering them seemed like a very dangerous thing to do.

I have referred back to this incident in my mind several times in the past few weeks.  There is an area in my life that God has really been challenging me in.  An area in life where I have been emotionally wounded again and again.  Over the years I have covered these wounds.  As in the story of my accident, it is a natural and necessary reaction.  But God longs to restore us.  In order to be restored, though, we have to uncover the wound.  Uncovering seems like a very dangerous and possibly foolish thing to do.

I looked at the paramedics.  They had their uniforms, kits, and gloves, and their demeanor was not that of anything but knowledge of what needs to happen next.  I knew that my options were to cooperate or fight.  If I fought I would be stuck in a very uncomfortable position, I would eventually be alone, and my future was possibly short, but definitely limited.  Any healing that could take place would be unhealthy.  I would not be in the proper care.  If I cooperated, there would be a moment of fear, but I was surrounded with people totally focused on me who had the experience and equipment to take care of me in the moment and take me where I needed to go. 

When God enters the scene in the role of paramedic to our emotional wounds, he needs us to uncover the wound.  The paramedics at my accident scene needed to see the wound to assess the damage and gain information as to where to start.  God already knows all of this.  He needs us to uncover the wounds so that WE can see what is really going on.  When we get hurt our perception is skewed.  How we have internalized the situation is causing us more harm, many times, than the situation itself.  God needs us to uncover it so that we can look at it with Him and see what He wants us to see in it.  This does not take away our fear of facing the situation.  We have to choose whether we are going to cooperate with Him, or fight Him.  Fighting Him, similar to my situation with the paramedics, leaves us alone and in a very unhealthy situation.  It keeps us in control in an area where we really should not have control.  Cooperating causes a great deal of fear and vulnerability.  But if you trust Him you will be in the best possible hands and given the best possible care.

I cooperated, and within minutes my leg was wrapped and I was in the ambulance being whisked away to the hospital.  From the moment of cooperation I was completely taken care of.  The responsibility for my well being during this process was not my own.  I remember being in the ambulance joking with the paramedics, and they commented on what a pleasant passenger I was.  I was pleasant because I trusted them and was highly aware that in this moment they were the best friends I could possibly have.  Their comment reflected the fact that my attitude made their job much easier.  It made me wonder what they usually had to deal with.

Every time God challenges me to move forward I have to check my attitude.  God is for us, and wants so much more for us than we can even fathom is possible.  For us to move toward His best we have to overcome the hurts and lies and fears and every other thing that holds us back.  We can obey grudgingly or enthusiastically.  Which do you think gets us there faster and stronger?  Every time, it seems, that God points toward the next wall that I have to climb I feel wounded and look at Him like, "Why would You do this to me?"  What is before me seems so big and so hard and I blame Him.  I obey Him with arms folded defiantly and pouting and glaring.  Hopefully I will soon learn not to react like that, but so far...yep, that's me!  Eventually I do come to my senses and, rather than pulling against Him, I start partnering with Him to chase the goal.  It doesn't mean things are easy, but, oh, the blessings that flow.  :)

A ride in the ambulance didn't heal me.  There was the hospital, where I had x-rays, then glass was picked out of my leg, there were stitches...and I still wasn't healed.  Healing is a process.  It takes time and care.  I'm not through it.  At most, I am metaphorically at the place where He is removing shards of glass.  There may be a part 2 to this blog.  But I am at the place where I am not fighting any more and appreciating the process.  I am fascinated by it, and hope that it raises up something in me that allows me to bring His healing to many many many others.  If you sense God's had extended toward you as you're reading this, take it!  Trust Him!  He knows what He is doing and it is good. 

Killing my Control Freak

...and no, I don't mean my husband.  I was tempted to update my Facebook status to something like, "Tempted to stop praying."  It seems that everything I have prayed for recently has come in such a way that I'm overwhelmed, it just seems like too much.  My instinct is to hide from it, or to close doors so that only what I can handle is let in.  But then I thought about it.  God doesn't show up in my size, He shows up in His.  He is not going to answer my prayers in the way that I see fit.  He has no interest in keeping things "Lisa sized."  God's presence in a situation should be overwhelming.  He needs to show up in a way that makes people sit up and take notice that something more is going on here.  If things stay "Lisa sized" then guess who is in control?  Why would He respond in any other way than to overwhelm me? 

So, what now?  I'm still overwhelmed.  I guess I have now realized that this is not about what I can handle, it's about making a decision about who's in control.  Am I going to push out the blessings that I can't handle?  Or am I going to humbly step back and look to Him to orchestrate events in the way the He sees fit.  What am I going to make a priority?  My feelings or His Glory?

Tug of War-part 2

I published Tug of War a few days ago as a warning that opportunities may not always be what they seem.  But how do you know, when an opportunity presents itself, if it's something to pursue or not?  After all, God opportunities aren't exactly easy.  You can't base the decision on whether or not there are obstacles.  I have my own process that I go through to determine whether or not an opportunity should be pursued that I wanted to share with you.  There are three parts to it. 

The first is to balance it against my priorities.  God, family, and commitments.  Pray first!  Having said that, ask yourself questions such as:  How does this opportunity align with what I know God wants from me?  Are there things that He has revealed to me that this underlines, or detracts from?  If this takes away from my family, are they willing to sacrifice for it?  Do they support me?  What commitments have I made that might be affected by this?  If I am going to fail in any of these areas, then how can God be behind it?  The answer isn't always obvious though.  Maybe at first glance it looks like you are going to have to turn your back on a commitment (or something else) but after some prayer and thought, or a new perspective, what looked like a distraction becomes a catalyst.  That's why step two is so important.

It's important to run it by mentors, people that you look up to that have your best interest at heart.  Presumably you look up to them because they have succeeded in areas that you want to succeed in.  This gives them invaluable perspective into your life and situation.  They will see things that you don't.  "There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors."  They may look at your obstacles and see opportunities.

After these two steps, if it makes sense to move forward, but there is still some doubt, draw lines in the sand.  My husband and I had to make a decision about a career move.  We were quite uncertain about it, so we made a list of things that we felt needed to happen in order for us to know we were making the right decision.  I'm not talking about silly things, like make it rain or something.  No, there were obstacles that we felt would stop us from being effective in doing the job, so we "drew lines in the sand".  We listed the obstacles that had to be removed, there were many.  We walked forward in the process, praying as we went, and one by one the obstacles fell and we accepted the job.  What an amazing journey that was!

I hope this helps.  If you are in the middle of a tug of war and need a prayer partner, I would love to pray for you.  Please let me know!

Reclaim your inheritance

Imagine you were heir to something great.  Maybe you are of royal blood, or maybe you are heir to a fortune.  Your family is attacked and killed.  You were kidnapped, and thought to be dead.  Years later you emerge.  What happens?  Well, if this happened to you while you were young, maybe nothing.  You haven't been fuming over what you had lost, because you don't know any better.  You had been living under a lie, you were accustomed to captivity, and freedom affords you little more, because you never knew there was more.

If this happened when you were a bit older, and you had an idea of what you had come from, maybe there was some anger and a sense of entitlement, but all these years later, what could you do?  Yes, maybe at one time it would have been yours.  And, yes, maybe you still carry the name.  But it's been so many years.  Things are different now.  All you see is obstacles, and no real way to reclaim what should have been yours.

That's your perspective.  What if you were the ones now controlling the fortune.  What would their perspective be when they hear that you are not dead?  They went to a lot of trouble to capture your birthright.  Over the years they have done what they've wanted to with your inheritance.  They've made a lot of changes.  They knew your father, and they know that if you are anything like him they don't want you anywhere near your home.  Your very existence threatens them.  To them, your name is enough to be a threat.  They don't see the obstacles you see.  They know that all you have to do is show up to cause a stir. 

So what's the point of this little parable?  Well, you are royalty.  Your Father is the King of kings!  As a child your identity was stripped from you.  You bought into the lie that what you could accomplish in this world was limited to what human hands and minds could do.  You may even have bought into the lie that you had to do it on your own.  As a result, look around you.  Look at everything the devil has gotten control of.  Look at the empty lives around you.  Listen to the music.  Watch the tv and the movies.  Creativity, Music, Business, Purpose...these have all fallen into the wrong hands.  If we would stop believing the lies and JUST SHOW UP, oh, how things would be different.

Tug of War

Have you noticed that whenever you set out to reach a goal something is always there to pull you in the other direction?  For example, it just so happens that someone brings in your favorite piece of cake just for you on the day you start your diet.  Or, when you finally decide to put dating on the back burner while you pursue your dreams "that guy" calls and says exactly the right thing. Or you take that leap of faith and decide to make your passion a priority over income when you get that insane job offer.  Maybe it's something more personal, like deciding to reconcile with a loved one just as something happens that slaps you in the face with the memory of whatever it is that drove a wedge between you in the first place.  Do you think these things are coincidences?  It's almost as if there is someone plotting against you, isn't it? 

It's so weird, as Christians we know that Satan is out to get us (1 Peter 5:8), and yet we seem surprised and caught off guard when he strikes.  There seems to be a separation between the Truth we have been taught and the truth we live.  Satan may have lost the battle for our souls, but that doesn't mean he has given up the fight.  There is a constant tug of war.  He will always fight for ground, and the more ground that you plan to take, the harder he will fight.  As long as he can keep you where you are at he doesn't have anything to worry about.  If he sees you taking steps toward healing old wounds and breaking strongholds he knows that you are preparing to advance and take ground for his enemy, the Kingdom of God, and that's unacceptable to him.  He wants you to remain fearful, alone, hurt, and ineffective.  He cannot allow you to see yourself as God sees you, warriors and royalty, created to make His name famous.  No, he wants you to stay in the shadows, afraid of what others will say, or cringing away from the pain of the past.  As long as we behave and stay "where we belong", in the safety of our churches and homes, he is okay with that. 

Ladies and gentleman, there is a tug of war over you.  Over your future.  Over your place in this world.  Every step you take will be challenged and countered.  What will you do?  Will you remain oblivious?  Will you choose comfort?  Do you find the lure of worldly things more enticing?  Will you choose to turn away, hoping that you can claim not to know any better?  Or will you choose to become wise to the enemies tactics, prepare for them, and then be sassy enough to wink in their direction as an off-handed "thank you for recognizing me as a threat"? 

I can't do it!

I think it's a pretty common thing to look at the greatness that we see in others and then look at ourselves; wishing that we could accomplish even a fraction of that greatness, and to admit that we just don't have it in us.  It's a very empty feeling.  Very humbling.  And it makes us shrink back.  The thing is that if we make it about us, about what we can do, and about the credit we receive, then we should shrink back.  Whatever we can do on our own won't last and is pretty insignificant anyway. 

That empty feeling is pretty disheartening, but what if we turned it around to be a trigger?  A trigger to reflect on the fact that the more we empty ourselves the more we can be filled with God?  That empty feeling is a lack of self-confidence, which is a good thing if you are seeking God-confidence! 

When we look at others and long for the greatness in them, why should that make us shrink back?  If it's the type of greatness that we should be seeking then it is God revealing Himself and His purposes through them, right?  If not, we are just seeking fame, fortune, or other worldly things.  So, if we are witnessing God being revealed and honoring that, then we should be rejoicing?  If we are not, then we are either seeking to be used in that way for our own glory, or we are judging (therefore claiming to know better than God), or we are being convicted.  That conviction comes because we are not allowing God to flow through us as He desires to.  We push Him out for fear of looking foolish (pride) or for fear of losing something (idolatry).

I can hear some of you saying, "You don't understand!  You don't know what I've been through."  I don't have to.  God does, and He doesn't want you to keep holding on to that.  Sometimes we feel entitled to our pain, or grief, or fear.  I don't discount what you've been through.  Maybe you feel that letting it go is letting someone off the hook.  Doesn't that, by default, give that person or situation priority over Christ in your life?  Have they earned that spot?  Isn't it better to give that over to God?  Revenge belongs to the Lord anyway.  I've seen His revenge and, trust me, it's far better than your grudge. 

I think that it's time that we take a good hard look at the greatness around us, whatever it is that makes you long to be more than you have been.  Then look to God and ask Him what's holding you back.  Why not make a commitment right now to surrender whatever that is, and maybe ask for some accountability as you move forward.  Allow His Greatness to shine through you, and challenge others to do the same.

Name it and claim it!

Did I scare you?  I don't mean this in the way that it's usually used, I don't believe that we have the power and authority to "name it and claim it" in Jesus name, just because it's what we want, or even believe is best.  I just want to explore the idea that there is something to "naming it."  I watched a movie a couple of years ago, my typical supernatural sci fi type of movie, and it had a scene where a young man was being taught to use his powers.  In order to have power over something he had to know the true name of it.  Not what everyone else called it, it had to be it's true name.  Something struck me about that.  I remembered how Jacob's name was changed to Israel, and Abram to Abraham, and I remembered how in the Bible people would pray to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  God has many names, and we can learn so much from studying them.  There IS something in a name. 

While I recognized this, I felt there was more, there was something there that I was missing.  I then thought about counseling.  Counseling someone can be quite interesting.  Most people know there is something wrong but talk all around it.  You kind of have to read in between the lines to get to the heart of the matter, and then speak to that.  Once you get to the core of it, all the randomness disappears and then you deal with what's in front of you.  Then I wondered if that's how God views our prayers.  We get kind of rambly and generic, and while He's God and can see through it, maybe we need to get to the point before He can really move.  You know how you can get in a prayer rut, "God bless ________, and help _________.  Please be with me today, help me to make a difference...."  Don't you think God is up there saying, "Seriously?  Bless, help, be with....  Listen!  I AM GOD!  I do bless, I do help, I am with, I AM!  But how do you recognize it unless you name it?  Partner with me, let US bless, let US help, let US be with.  I can do this on my own, but I have chosen to work through YOU.  Let's focus on some place where My Name can be glorified today.  Let's position you to be in a place where I can work through you and we can claim some ground in Jesus name!" 

I think our prayers have gotten lazy.  Even if they haven't, sometimes we are afraid to act for fear of looking foolish.  I think God needs a few of us to step up and be intentional about making specific headway for the sake of His Name.  A few of us have to do it to make headway and to create an atmosphere for more to do it.  Some pray for revival like they are praying for God to wave a magic wand and create revival.  I think God is saying that He doesn't need a magic wand, He created us, we just need to focus.